Dealing with evangelical Christians the Buddhist way – Ven. Dhamma Bhikkhu

Venerable Buddhist MonkAbout six months ago there was a knock on my door and I opened it to find two evangelical Christians there. I knew they were evangelicals because they had that fake friendly smile on their faces, which all evangelicals have when they are trying to convert someone.

This was the third time that month that evangelists had come knocking on my door and disturbing me so I decided to teach them a lesson. ‘Good morning’ they said. ‘Good morning’ I replied.

‘Have you heard about the Lord Jesus Christ’? they asked. ‘I know something about him but I am a Buddhist and I’m not really interested in knowing more’ I said. But like all evangelists, they took no notice of my wishes and proceeded to talk about their beliefs.

So I said, ‘I don’t think you are qualified to speak to me about Jesus’. They looked very astonished and asked, ‘Why not’? ‘Because’, I said, ‘you have no faith’. ‘Our faith in Jesus is as strong as a rock’ they insisted. ‘I don’t think it is’ I said with a smile.

‘Please open your Bible and read the Gospel of Mark, chapter 16, verse 16, 17 and 18’ I said and while they flicked through their Bibles I went quickly inside and came out again. One of them found the passage and I asked him to read it out loud. It said, ‘He who believes and is baptized will be saved but he who does not believe shall be condemned. And these signs will follow those who believe in my name. They shall cast out devils, they shall speak in tongues, they will handle snakes and if they drink poison it will not hurt them and they will lay hands on the sick and they will recover’.

Liquid detergentWhen he finished I said, ‘In that passage Jesus says that if you have real faith you will be able to drink poison and not die’. I took a bottle of liquid detergent from behind my back, held it up and said, ‘Here is some poison. Demonstrate to me the strength of your faith and I will listen to anything you have to say about Jesus’.

You should have seen the looks on their faces! They didn’t know what to say. ‘What’s the problem’? I asked. ‘Is your faith not strong enough’? They hesitated for a few moments and then one of them replied, ‘The Bible also says that we must not test God’. ‘I’m not testing God’, I said, ‘I’m testing you. You love to witness for Jesus and now is your big opportunity’. Finally one of then said, ‘We will go and speak to our pastor about this matter and come back and see you. ‘I’ll be waiting for you’ I said as they scurried away. Of course they never came back again.

Here is a bit of advice. Keep a copy of this Bible reference and a bottle of detergent ready and every time the evangelists come to your door to harass you give them this test. You might like to have a polanga ready as well. – Geocities, Oct. 2009

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